The Process

We finally received a call this morning from the POC at TNF (The New Facility) -- she is out of town at a conference. So, we cleared up need for some additional financial information and passed that to her assistant who confirmed she is pushing info to their financial team today. Hopefully we can get through this negotiation and paperwork by end of this week.

There is so much to do in this situation:

• existing assets such as house and cars -- how much do you maintain and how about protecting these as no one is living there right now?
  
• little things like mail, paying the bills
• taxes -- quarterly -- and how do these change with her move to ALF (Assisted Living Facility) and those associated costs?
• what if we need to sell the house -- to either reduce expenses or continue funding care?

The list just goes on and on. We're fortunate in a lot of respects because Sister led the charge years ago to setup a Living Trust through an estate planner that really did a great job putting all necessary pieces in place. Things like "Durable Power of Attorney", "Living Will", etc. These are critically huge documents to have BEFORE you begin declining. Thank you Sister, Mom and Dad! We should all make sure we prepare so well.

Makes me think twice about long term care insurance as well. We need something to pay for our care -- I just recently read somewhere that only about 10% of the elderly die quickly. I want to live long (naturally healthy) -- but I want to die quick. Not many of us get that route to the end, so we should prepare so our loved ones have less of a burden. Of course, none of us can be sure what kind of care will really be available in another 30 years.

Even with all the proper documentation there is so much to learn, plan, execute and consider. It is becoming rather exhausting.

VACATION

So, let's think about vacation at TNF. Sister sent a picture of Mom to my cell phone this evening and just in 3 days of not seeing her she looks like she has lost a bunch of weight! She is NOT eating. Look how thin she is in this picture -- --- BUT hair is done and lipstick on!


Bless her heart!!!

So, I decide to pull heart strings -- everyone has a Mom so everyone can sympathize -- right? The following email went out this evening to the ladies at TNF:

Do me a HUGE HUGE favor -- do whatever you can to expedite our Mother’s transfer to TNF as soon as possible. In this process, please assist us to make it as smooth and easy for Mom as possible so she is not distressed or worried……..well as best we can all do for her. My sister and I are preparing to be with Mom as much as you all will allow her first week or so.

Mom is losing so much weight so quickly – she is just not eating that crap they serve over there. I mean look at the attached pictures – the first “CellTakes…” was from January 9^th – just ONE MONTH later look at her – the second picture “Mom 004”. Now Mom has done her part – she worked at exercise and rehab really well…………but the food – yuck!

Ladies – I plead with you to help us. My mother has shared her WONDERFUL personality in the last week – once listening to a 40s music female singer (at the current facility on Saturday) ……..second was just strolling (Mom in a wheelchair because we didn’t want to make her ‘hike’) around outside in the sunshine (Saturday and Sunday).

I WANT MORE of her. I want my sister and I to be with Mom and have days to enjoy each other and her personality in the comfort of TNF. I want Mom, Sister and myself to enjoy the activities and facility at TNF – I want to go on a “Joy Ride” with her. I want the 3 of us to have Mom’s last “vacation” at TNF.

Please hurry as to us she is deteriorating so quickly. I want this vacation for all of us.

Doesn't hurt to ask.........we have no idea how long she has, I don't want to waste any of it.

To be Continued.................................................